For some, January marks a new year; for others a new semester; but for Warriors, it marks the second half of a grueling season. Still, battling it out in Philly is not enough for a Wharton Warrior. So in addition to kicking off the part two of the Wharton Basketball League, we took our show on the road to play the best of the best of the best from Cambridge in a Wharton-HBS basketball showdown. The outcome of the game will come as no surprise to anyone who has ever compared the two schools on just about any metric, but I felt it was worth including a write-up nonetheless. Please know that I will not be offended if you skip directly to the league write-up. Who wants to watch the movie when you already know how it ends? I understand.
Wharton 55, HBS 50
Prior to kicking off the second half of the Wharton Basketball League, the Basketball Club decided to send a group of our Warriors to Cambridge to prove that we are not only superior to the “H-School” in spreadsheet development, overall intelligence, and attractiveness, but also in basketball. That’s right, we gave them home court advantage, played in front of roughly 100 HBS fans, and had only a fraction of our best players in attendance. And yet, the game was one-sided for the majority of the competition.
George “O’My” O’Garro asserted his dominance with a dizzying combination of inside moves, rim-rocking finishes, and shot blocking. Porter Leslie, known as “Mr. President” for his striking resemblance to Bill Clinton, refused to miss a shot from the outside all night long. After going up by 17 points early in the game, most of the Warriors got bored, which allowed their lesser opponents to make it a close contest. But regardless of the score, it was never really a game. How could it be? Go Wharton!
Beast Mode 68, Dreamliners 29
“O’My” O’Garro rode the wave from his HBS performance to lead all scorers with 23-points when his Beast Mode Ballers faced the Dreamliners. The Dreamliners failed to find any offense in the 39-point spanking. Their leading scorer, Jeff Schiffner, was only able to put up 12 points. Much of the credit goes to the intensity of Beast Mode. Captain Greg McBroom was so hype in his pre-game speech that he sustained a mild ankle sprain! I guess injuries are inevitable in these battles. Way to go hard, Greg.
Take My Talents 50, Fighting Harbaughs 45
The Fighting Harbaughs have made a name for themselves by stifling other teams with the league’s stingiest defense. But it was Take My Talents who displayed the type of defense that wins championships this week. The Talents used their speed and the absence of the Harbaughs’ top scorer Porter Leslie to shut their opponents down. Offensively, Darcy led the Talents with a solid 16 point performance.
Adrian Gale did his best to keep the Harbaughs in the game. His 16 points gave the Harbaughs a small lead at halftime. Unfortunately, with only 5 players, they simply could not withstand the defensive pressure of the speedy Talents. The Harbaughs slipped to 7-2 as a result.
The Jimmers 50, Ankle Breakers 48
Many think the Ankle Breakers will be a new team this half of the year. That’s because their top pick, Chris “The Closeline” Oosterhuis, has returned to the team after missing the first half of the year. After being picked first by the Ankle Breakers, Oosterhuis shocked the league by deciding to pursue his lifelong dream as a WWE wrestler. While he was mildly successful as a wrestler, his love for Wharton brought him back to the Ankle Breakers in time for what they hope will be a miraculous improvement for the second half of the season.
Unfortunately, while Oosterhuis is now incredibly buff and tan, his basketball skills will need to be refreshed. So far the Breakers are 1-1 with Chris in the lineup, including this week’s two-point loss to the Jimmers. To be sure, a win and a close loss is a vast improvement for a team that was awful in the first half of the year. But the jury is still out on the Breakers. The Jimmers were led to victory by Tony “The Real” Liveris and Brigham Wilson, with 14 and 13 points, respectively.
Los Verdugos 66, Animal Spirits 60
The Animal Spirits are rivaling the Ankle Breakers for the bottom spot in the league. Both teams are 2-7 through the first 9 games of the season. Despite an excellent shooting night for Jeff Bilsky, the Spirits still could not put together a complete night.
Los Verdugos, playing shorthanded without Zeeshan Hyder, won this game at the free-throw line. The Spirits were visibly frustrated with the officiating in this game, and Los Verdugos took full advantage. They attacked the basket, got to the charity stripe, and knocked down a high percentage of their free throws. David Hueber added a pair of threes in the win.