A brief discussion on why my Cluster is better than yours

As a man coming from a long lineage of “sports-minded” people, I feel pretty confident that I have a firm understanding of the power of competition. Let’s just say that my grandfather once considered taking a family member out of the will following a heated game of Gin Rummy (no joke… just ask our family lawyer). Winning isn’t everything, but not naming any names in particular (cough… cough… Yemi… cough), it certainly can drive some of us to greatness as well as pure madness.

Case in point: Cluster Cup and WGA Athletics. Coming into the Wharton environment, I knew I’d meet some competitive people. But after experiencing first-hand trash talking at an Art Competition, you have to step back and say DAMN. At one point, I thought about proposing that we hire security for the Chili-Cookoff just to make sure no one tried to spike the competition’s submission with colon-blow.

But is anyone complaining about this competitive environment? I certainly hope not. Competition has made this Student Body a whole. It’s brought us all together, and pushed us to new limits. It certainly drove several of us into new “stretch” experiences… watching innocent Alana Rush attempt to consume an entire Trader Joes Apple Pie while wearing her a-typical bumble bee skirt is a prime example. Without these events, the Wharton experience wouldn’t be the same. And I think we owe it to ourselves to keep the competitive spirit alive for 2014.

But enough preaching… let’s get to the goods. Why is my Cluster better than yours? Scoreboard. Let me repeat that…. SCOREBOARD. It’s been a wild ride through the Cluster Cup and Athletics events thus far, but in the end, there can only be one Cluster on top. And as a proud member of the Tigers, let’s just say that “music” to my ears really comes in only a single note… and the tune rhymes with the word SCOREBOARD.

Let this be a rallying cry. If you think your Cluster is better than C4… PROVE IT. Bring your boys… bring your gals… and bring that competitive fire to the WGA events for second semester. I’m saying this with all due respect, and with every ounce of sportsmanship in my soul… no Roostercock, Honeybadger, or Bumble Bee is going to beat up on a Tiger under my watch. The last time I checked, there was a reason we were on the top of the food chain. And I don’t remember reading about any “fatal bee stings” affecting the Tiger population in the most recent edition of National Geographic.

Let’s go through a quick recap of the events that have taken place thus far…

Cluster Cup Olympics (1st – C2 / 2nd – C3 / 3rd – C4 / 4th – C1)

–          I think when you fill half of your Tug of War team with ex-Navy Seals, you’re going to have a pretty decent chance at beating out the competition.

Big Idea Competition (1st – C2 / 2nd – C4 / 3rd – C1 / 4th – C2)

–          Can anyone say the word “Smart-Plug”? Let’s just hope we can be a little more creative with the ACTUAL business plans we devise following graduation. Cool glasses under the brand-name Sorby Hawker probably isn’t going to cut it.

Dance-Off (1st – C4 / 2nd – C1 / 3rd – C3 / 4th – C2)

–          Does anyone remember watching John Withers climb up on Harman Narula’s shoulders during the Bangra dance? Remind me again how that didn’t seal the victory? Not that I’m complaining about the final results.

Quizzo (1st – C3 / 2nd – C2 / 3rd – C1 / 4th – C4)

–          Does anyone find it odd that the proportion of men who correctly answered “How many Grammy Awards Beyonce has won since starting her solo career” was higher than the proportion who correctly answered “What years did the Philadelphia Eagles make it to the Super Bowl”?

Football (1st – C3 / 2nd – C1 / 3rd – 2 / 4th – C4)

–          I would like remind everyone that this was a game of “Flag” Football. But judging by the number of rides on the ambulance we used during the event, I think the Penn Medical Center was under the impression it was full-contact. Samir Mainthia can relate.

Futbol (1st – C1 / 2nd – C4 / 3rd – C2 / 4th – C3)

–          Let’s just say that the Athletics Reps are definitely considering changing the “Round Robin” format for next year. Marathon Runners from Kenya wouldn’t be fit enough to play that many games. Cluster One… we commend you for your endurance.

Chili Cook-Off (T-1st – C3 and C4 / 2nd – C2 / 3rd – C1)

–          I never knew there was such a thing as Turkish Chili. Akin Aridag and Ramie Abu-Zahra … you blew my mind and my taste buds. We remain grateful for your skills.

Art Competition (1st – C4 / 2nd – C3 / 3rd – C2 / 4th – C2)

–          Dr. Kembrel Jones may need to open up his own art-gallery. There’s not enough wall space to rightfully hang those beautiful murals. We all knew he looked good in Pastel, but this takes it to an entirely different level.

Current Overall Standings

–          1st – Cluster 4 (25 Points)

–          2nd – Cluster 3 (23 Points)

–          T-3rd – Cluster 2 and 1 (19 Points)

The top of that leaderboard sure looks good in stripes. But what kind of opportunities are available to unseat C4 from the King’s Throne? Upcoming Athletics and WGA events are listed below. Let’s come together and make this second semester as memorable as the first. Embrace the spirit of competition and help us build on this great Wharton community. And even though I know you’ll fall short of our Tiger-excellence in the end, hopefully you’ll let buy you a beer and share a couple laughs at the finish line.

WGA Athletics Events – 2nd Semester

–          Ping Pong: February 15th

–          Softball: March 22nd, 29th

–          Basketball: March 21st

–          Cricket: April 19th

–          Australian Rules Football: April 25th

WGA Cluster Cup Events – 2nd Semester

–          Board Games: (TBD)

–          Flip Cup: February 13th @ Pub

–          Quizzo II: March 18th

–          Day of Service: March 28th

–          Softball: March 29th

–          5K: April 5th

–          Spring Field Day: April 19th


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