It’s in the wee hours on a Wednesday night and you’re taking cheap Fireball shots at Drinker’s (and you hate Fireball) as you begin to ponder how you got here…
5:00PM “I’m taking the night off” – it’s the calm before the storm. You say you’re not going out, swearing to do your readings for Shell or run along the Schuylkill, or anything but kill your liver again. Maybe you’ll go to an art exhibit, check out a new restaurant, or improve your vocabulary(?). Regardless, you’re doing the responsible thing tonight. Go you!
5:15PM The Cave-In – that over-persistent friend in bumblebee/Cohort I convinces you to go to this happy hour in El Vez, and support a friend in a play. Knowing your friend’s acting ability and thinking it will be painful, you down a mix of margaritas and negronis to get you through the show. After a few, you begin to transform into that over-persistent friend, convincing a few others to join for drinks, and making the managers at the bar kind of hate you.
7:45PM The Event – arrive at Wharton Theater Club’s Fish in the Dark, and after a few scenes in, you are very glad that you ended up pregaming. I’ve always thought MBAs were great negotiators, but the $25 price tag for a show undergrads usually pay $8 for may disprove that idea. You spend the show wishing you snuck in beer and updating your SPIKE profile (first and last time?), and wondering if that was baby powder in the performer’s seemingly grey hair.
9:00PM The Extension – during the intermission, you get roped into a club’s/friend’s open-bar event (literally anywhere except Voyeur; you like your shoes). Not one to let good (or bad!) alcohol go to waste, you casually/aggressively sip a few mixed drinks before…
11:00PM The Realization – you remember you have an assignment due in the morning, and debate/brag about your current 1.5 LT’s. Is one more that bad? You download and use the Canvas app on the spot, but like anything useful on that app it has limited functionality. So you down your drink, and make your way to the door.
11:30PM The Boomerang – on your way back to crank this out, you bump into a bunch of 2Ys you vaguely know (aka everyone). You’re planning to do this assignment before 2401 closes (and not make a fool of yourself), but somehow just walk to Drinkers. Before the Fireball kicks in, you hope that there won’t be surge on Uber as you try to make it to your 9am class.