Tree, Short for One Tree Hill

PART1

Let me paint you a picture of what I thought my life would be like here in Philly. I go to work, I go to the gym, I sit in the steam room and then I take a shower, and then I get home, where I am greeted by my husband standing in his white Hanes t-shirt and his ten-year-old extra-large sweatpants that droop so low I can see his butt crack. I begin to cook. My husband is there to chop the mushrooms while I sauté the onions. When I am done sautéing onions, my husband is there to plate them while I sauté the mushrooms. We stand over the stove together, tasting my delicious vegetables, and licking them off the same wooden spoon. We moan about the taste, like it’s the last food we’ll ever eat, pretending that mushrooms are just as good as chips, just as good as chocolate. We kiss. We tell each other how happy we are, that life is just amazing outside of New York, that Philly is “quaint”. We do a little dance while the mushrooms start to sweat. Then the mushrooms are done and we stop doing our dance. Simultaneously we look at each other, realizing that we have had way too much fun, and say, “But the chicken!” At this point we both kneel down together and open the oven to find the chicken perfectly cooked. Gently, my husband removes the chicken from the oven and makes a cute remark, like, “Honey, dinner is served!” This remark would be cute because I’d be standing right there and I’d already know that dinner is served. I laugh. I tell my husband that he is a silly man. He tells me I’m a pretty girl. We light a little candle that smells like lilac and vanilla and we use our real dishes to eat dinner, where we spend one full hour debriefing on our days.

Let me paint you a picture of what my life is like here in Philly. It starts out pretty similar to our first version, the life I thought I would have, but it takes a sharp turn in the middle of the first sentence. Don’t worry, you can’t miss it. The turn is so sharp, it will feel like you’ve just seen a rhino crossing the street near school. I go to work, I go to the gym, I sit in the steam room and then I take a shower, and then I get home, where I am greeted by my bathroom which is directly across the front door. I cook myself. I chop the onions and the mushrooms myself. I sauté them myself. I dance with myself. I do not almost forget the chicken because I am completely and utterly alone, by myself. Steve walks in the door when dinner is ready, asks me how work is while responding to an email that’s just come in—“sorry, babe, gotta take this one.” It is probably Amazon, or Google, or Apple, or Microsoft, or one of the many places that are in Seattle or San Francisco, which is probably where I’ll spend my summer because this is what happens when you marry someone that gets into Wharton. And no, I do not know what the fuck I will do with myself, but let’s save that for another entry, maybe next week’s. Anyway. I tell the wall that my day went well because I have to tell someone, something. We eat for seven minutes while watching Tree, short for One Tree Hill, because Steve doesn’t even have enough time to call it what it is. Then Steve lifts himself off the couch and says, “Well, honey, I must be going.” Just kidding, Steve doesn’t talk like that. He lifts himself off the couch, pumps his fist in the air, and says, “PREP TIME, BABY!” Just kidding, Steve doesn’t talk like that either. He lifts himself off the couch and says, “Sorry, babe, I just really have to go.” Then he kisses me on the forehead. This is the way Steve talks. He is sensitive.

When Shilpi asked me to write about FRP this week, I immediately replied, “Sure! Would love to be involved.” After sending my reply, I thought to myself wait, what is FRP? Don’t laugh. This is a true fact. So I went on to text Steve, “What is FRP?” And he tells me FRP stands for Focused Recruiting Period. “Interviews are basically every day for the next week,” he says. “And all core classes are cancelled. But I still have an elective today.”

I KNEW THAT. I just didn’t know this bizarre phase of my life had a name to it.

187 Comments

  1. Pingback: 4cyn5et4m5t94c5t9m4vn54cx65

  2. Pingback: http://falschgeldkaufen.blogspot.com/2017/01/wo-kann-ich-falschgeld-kaufen.html

  3. Pingback: دانلود قسمت هشتم شهرزاد دوم

  4. Pingback: دانلود شهرزاد قسمت دوازدهم فصل دوم

  5. Pingback: دانلود شهرزاد قسمت نهم فصل دوم

  6. Pingback: دانلود شهرزاد قسمت هفتم فصل دوم

  7. Pingback: دانلود قسمت 17 عاشقانه

  8. Pingback: دانلود قسمت 13 عاشقانه

  9. Pingback: دانلود قسمت دوازدهم عاشقانه

  10. Pingback: Gina Gerson

  11. Pingback: Michelle Martinez

  12. Pingback: dolandirici sosyal marketim

  13. Pingback: Cherry Hilson

  14. Pingback: Paleo Diet

  15. Pingback: free online movies

  16. Pingback: عاشقانه

  17. Pingback: دانلود قسمت دوازه عاشقانه

  18. Pingback: پنجره

  19. Pingback: Loyola College for Sale

  20. Pingback: دانلود قسمت پنجم شهرزاد دوم

  21. Pingback: under armour outlet

  22. Pingback: دانلود قسمت سیزده عاشقانه

  23. Pingback: how to bypass windows 7 password

  24. Pingback: porno

  25. Pingback: porno gratis

  26. Pingback: videos porno

  27. Pingback: porno

  28. Pingback: videos porno

  29. Pingback: porno

  30. Pingback: videos porno

  31. Pingback: videos porno

  32. Pingback: porno gratis

  33. Pingback: porno gratis

  34. Pingback: videos porno

  35. Pingback: دانلود سریال عاشقانه

  36. Pingback: پنجره دوجداره وین تک ویستابست

  37. Pingback: ساخت پنجره دوجداره

  38. Pingback: قیمت پنجره دوجداره

  39. Pingback: Facial Spa Services Lighthouse Point

  40. Pingback: Facial Spa Services Coral Springs

  41. Pingback: Acne Facial Treatments West Park

  42. Pingback: پنجره

  43. Pingback: فروش توری پنجره دوجداره

  44. Pingback: دانلود موزیک

  45. Pingback: دانلود قسمت ششم شهرزاد

  46. Pingback: Roof Repair Long Island

  47. Pingback: buy zynga chips

  48. Pingback: cheap jordans shoes

  49. Pingback: دانلود قسمت هفتم شهرزاد

  50. Pingback: پنجره

  51. Pingback: Situs Qiu Qiu 99 Poker Online Indonesia

  52. Pingback: sale LED Recessed lights

  53. Pingback: پنجره

  54. Pingback: coin-banks cryptocurrency

  55. Pingback: bitcoin hft

  56. Pingback: magazin de pescuit

  57. Pingback: coin-banks trading

  58. Pingback: Mlynek do kawy bosch mkm 6000

  59. Pingback: Porn World

  60. Pingback: coin-banks exchange

  61. Pingback: barry sanders rookie card value

  62. Pingback: download

  63. Pingback: anime series

  64. Pingback: vpm

  65. Pingback: Accounting firms in chicago

  66. Pingback: slot machines

  67. Pingback: TRUSSARDI

  68. Pingback: "harga central spring bed"

  69. Pingback: youtube

  70. Pingback: 16 دانلود شهرزاد

  71. Pingback: Roofing Long Island

  72. Pingback: دانلود قسمت دوم عالیجناب

  73. Pingback: دانلود فیلم ایرانی

  74. Pingback: دانلود عالیجناب دوم

  75. Pingback: shock & strut replacement

  76. Pingback: game

  77. Pingback: bafore and after, for kids

  78. Pingback: فروش توری پنجره دوجداره

  79. Pingback: دانلود

  80. Pingback: شرکت تولیدی پنجره دوجداره ایرانی

  81. Pingback: دانلود

  82. Pingback: taylormade m2 irons australia

  83. Pingback: Tile and Grout Cleaning fort hood TX

  84. Pingback: credit card debt

  85. Pingback: reussir

  86. Pingback: rent home

  87. Pingback: nursery rhymes

  88. Pingback: tenant screening

  89. Pingback: دانلود فیلم با کیفیت

  90. Pingback: Search Engine Optimisation Ireland

  91. Pingback: دانلود فیلم

  92. Pingback: Cooking Chef new version

  93. Pingback: авто-ключар

  94. Pingback: قیمت پنجره دوجداره

  95. Pingback: پنجره

  96. Pingback: دانلود فیلم

  97. Pingback: پنجره

  98. Pingback: gernas mall

  99. Pingback: https://independent.academia.edu/davidsonjorge

  100. Pingback: printing

  101. Pingback: drugs

  102. Pingback: best electric razor

  103. Pingback: SEO Leeds

  104. Pingback: walmartone login

  105. Pingback: go to this web-site

  106. Pingback: Pups Singapore

  107. Pingback: indoor exercise bike

  108. Pingback: buy safe youtube views

  109. Pingback: دانلود

  110. Pingback: window

  111. Pingback: دانلود فیلم اکسیدان

  112. Pingback: united concordia dental

  113. Pingback: Web Design Yakima

  114. Pingback: Learn Colors

  115. Pingback: sewer line replacement

  116. Pingback: karaj

  117. Pingback: پنجره دوجداره

  118. Pingback: garden bridge

  119. Pingback: Learn Colors

  120. Pingback: Web Design

  121. Pingback: graphic designer products

  122. Pingback: EVA TV

  123. Pingback: Bandar Ceme

  124. Pingback: Otitis externa diagnosis

  125. Pingback: Schlüsseldienst

  126. Pingback: best casinos online

  127. Pingback: دانلود فیلم

  128. Pingback: chips bowl

  129. Pingback: 12 month loans bad credit

  130. Pingback: download movie

  131. Pingback: دانلود

  132. Pingback: دانلود

  133. Pingback: garden bridges

  134. Pingback: seo company jacksonville

  135. Pingback: Bad Credit Remortgages

  136. Pingback: Self Storage Units and Facilities in Jefferson on River Road

  137. Pingback: Huntingdon

  138. Pingback: cheryl

  139. Pingback: Easiest Way To Make Money Without a Website

  140. Pingback: personnel recruitment consulting

  141. Pingback: west london appliance repairs

  142. Pingback: what are blackheads

  143. Pingback: vehicle shippers

  144. Pingback: youtube.com

  145. Pingback: Judi Online

  146. Pingback: payday loans

  147. Pingback: Bandar Togel

  148. Pingback: https://www.behance.net/infob0324f42/following

  149. Pingback: https://issuu.com/jimstephenson239

  150. Pingback: buy porn collection google

  151. Pingback: russell sport performance socks

  152. Pingback: پنجره دوجداره

  153. Pingback: پنجره دوجداره

  154. Pingback: headhunter

  155. Pingback: stroller sunshade

  156. Pingback: billboard

  157. Pingback: elf porn

  158. Pingback: baby shower gift

  159. Pingback: Canada Goose Jacka Outlet

  160. Pingback: Full Report

  161. Pingback: Olah Raga dan Olah Rasa

  162. Pingback: Schluesseldienst

  163. Pingback: maxima investments

  164. Pingback: videos porno

  165. Pingback: porn movie

  166. Pingback: Continue

  167. Pingback: پنجره

  168. Pingback: نهنگ عنبر

  169. Pingback: Roma

  170. Pingback: ΚΟΥΠΟΝΙ ΣΤΟΙΧΗΜΑΤΟΣ

  171. Pingback: Vehicle Repair & Wash

  172. Pingback: WEB DESIGN PORTFOLIO

  173. Pingback: Oddsmonkey

  174. Pingback: Oddsmonkey

  175. Pingback: Oddsmonkey

  176. Pingback: menoquil

  177. Pingback: eyevage review

  178. Pingback: kitchen funnel

  179. Pingback: somulin review

  180. Pingback: High chair cover

  181. Pingback: Stretchy car seat cover

  182. Pingback: رگ خواب

  183. Pingback: avakin life hack code

  184. Pingback: رگ خواب

  185. Pingback: Jueza Berdion

  186. Pingback: Sell illegal backlinks

  187. Pingback: mobile phone accessories

Top